What’s Missing from Defund the Police

"We ignore their pain at our peril." —Brené Brown

I've written elsewhere about the dramatic shift in my beliefs regarding police. How I arrived, over the years, at an unusual version of ACAB:

All Cops Are Buddhas.

Meaning: I believe that all beings have deep-down goodness, sometimes called buddhanature — whether or not it is fully expressed or developed in this lifetime.

But Kloncke, you might protest, Is this true even of serial killers? People who commit murder, assault, and atrocities? People who collude in cover-ups? People who ban abortions, bomb civilians, and try to eradicate transness?

To put it simply, yes.

Even the people who commit grievous harm, I believe, are trying the best they can. (To foreshadow one of Brené Brown's famous viewpoints, hard-won after fighting with her therapist and interviewing many other people.)

Haven't I myself committed harm, in this lifetime and lifetimes before? Intentionally or unintentionally?

Even those of us who have done wrong, or multiple wrongs, are not ultimately defined, in my view, by the worst things we have done.

You might worry that this belief in deep-down goodness is a position of complacency and complicity. Making excuses for people.

It's not.

Because if you ask if I also hope that we, as a society, will abolish the Prison Industrial Complex, including policing and surveillance as a poor substitute for true safety, I will say:

Yes. We can evolve. We can do better.

Here's the issue.

Defunding the police, by itself, will not lead to more safety, peace, and justice.

It will lead to more militias and paramilitaries.

It will lead to more Proud Boys and Oath Keepers.

It will lead to more shaming, blaming, secrecy, and vengeance.

Defunding the police without also loving former officers — seeing them as worthy humans; and actually helping them to heal, grow, and transition their identities in beloved community — this type of defunding would be punitive and shaming. The message that will be received is: We think you're bad and wrong. You can't be trusted. Now we're going to take away your power and show you who's in charge.

We know what happens when we weaponize shame. It does not lead to the outcomes that we, as abolitionists, want.

I love Brené Brown's take on this (quoting James Baldwin) in a 2017 interview with sports star Lewis Howes.

“I can’t imagine a way through

what needs to happen in the next decade

that does not involve understanding pain.”

—Brené Brown, on healing from white supremacy

(Transcript starting at 31:52)

Lewis Howe: And I had someone tell me last week, they said: "You know, white male privilege is a thing. And I think you need to incorporate more values into your organization, so that you're not living from this white male privileged place. … and I was hurt by this, because — I get it. I'm white. There's nothing I can do based on the way I was born. There's nothing I can do! I can't change the way I was born, but I can choose to determine how I want to live, and how I want to show up in the world.

Brené Brown: Right. Right.

LH: So I'm constantly trying to be mindful of speaking out more. Because I think that's what a lot of my friends are saying about Charlottesville: If white men aren't opening up and talking about this more, it's not gonna come across to the people that are… I guess… marching with torches. Which just blows my mind that this is happening, still! It blows me away that this is happening. I don't even understand it. I'm like, I'm blown away… I don't know, I'm just like, How can I be better and more impactful in this place? And how can we get rid of this? How can we end it? [Palms up and open, eyes wide, sincere. Also laughing slightly.] Do you have the answer? It just blows my mind.

BB: [Laughs, then serious, eyes downcast] No, you know, I think we need to do a lot more listening. And hear from the people who've been affected by this the longest. I think we do need to speak out. I think white silence around these issues is death. I mean I just think it's, it's… it's terrible. I don't think we can come in and save the day. I think we need to come in with humility and curiosity, and say "This is what I think, and I wanna learn, and if I make mistakes let me know, and I'll try to make them better."

LH: Yeah.

BB: And I think we need to take responsibility. I think it's easier sometimes for me, in my life, to… [Pause] just keep asking questions, just keep reading, just keep talking about it, and when I am so uncomfortable that I don't want to do it anymore, just keep doing it. And to remember that my discomfort is just, you know, that's my privilege.

LH: [Nodding] Yeah.

BB: And so, I don't know that there is an answer, other than discussions. And I'm not — I wasn't surprised about Charlottesville, really.

LH: You weren't?

BB: No…

LH: Really? It just blows my mind — maybe I'm just ignorant to that…

BB: I don't think it's about being ignorant to it… you know, I've studied shame for 15 years. And fear. Like, that's what it looks like. [meaning, Charlottesville.]

LH: What do you think these individuals are most shameful of in their own life? Why are they so protective?

BB: I would never venture to guess. I don't know. But I do think it's about powerlessness.

LH: They feel powerless?

BB: Yeah. And I think people go, you know, "Oh my God, so the white guy in the khakis and the fancy polo shirt feels powerless [rolling eyes] you know, cry me a river."

LH: Right.

BB: But I think we don't give a shit about that, at our own peril.

This is where I'm listening especially closely.

BB: Not caring about [how they feel], and not trying to understand it — I mean, I'm not taking it on my load, for sure. I'm not gonna add it to my back. I got other stuff to do. But I am gonna try to understand it because … I can't … imagine a way through what needs to happen over the next decade, that does not involve understanding pain. There's this incredible James Baldwin quote that says, "Now I understand why people hold onto their hate so stubbornly. Because once they let it go there's nothing but pain."

LH: Oooh. Yeah.

BB: And I think we dismiss and don't care about that pain at our own peril.

This. This, this, this.

We dismiss their pain at our own peril.

Not just an argument of altruism, but an observation and analysis of long-term consequences. Blowback.

Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world.

By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased.

This is a law eternal.

—The Buddha, Dhammapada, Chapter 1, Verse 5

I want to return to this later, bringing in the work of Resmaa Menakem and My Grandmother's Hands. Bringing in the framework of Post-Traumatic Growth — taught to me by Dr. Larry Ward, author of America's Racial Karma. Bringing in other voices and beings devoted to healing from the traumas of policing.

But for now, appreciating Brené and the Buddha.

And as always, would love to hear your thoughts.