About Me
I hold a Harvard degree in Studies of Women, Gender & Sexuality; 15+ years of Buddhist meditation practice; and a mischievous attitude that's part nature, part nurture. Most importantly:
I like to transform shame into love.
Unfortunately, most of us live with some level of trauma, shame, and unnecessary pain. But this need not be our destiny. As the great spiritual master Thich Nhat Hanh said, “No mud, no lotus.” We can learn to transform the muck of our suffering into rich soil, green leaves, and bright blossoms of tenderness, empathy, connection, love — and yes, even excitement and arousal.
I envision a world where we learn to love well — expressing and sharing our true selves naturally, happily, creatively, unapologetically. Reconnecting with all our relations (to borrow a phrase from indigenous family), and healing from the many toxic myths and structures currently poisoning our bodies, minds, and spirits. In order to reach such a world, one thing we need to do is stop stigmatizing sex.
On a personal level, intimacy coaching has changed my own life for the better. Years of feminist theory and organizing, talk therapy, and Buddhist training have helped me tremendously, but this sex-explicit method quickly exposed profound areas still untouched (!!!) where I needed healing. I feel grateful to have found this erotic wellspring, and it's my pleasure to share it with you.
I envision a world where we learn to love well.
My years of freedom seeking have taught me that the same wisdom can reach us differently, depending on how we perceive the source.
Who I am (or who you perceive me to be) might actually matter to your healing.
In that spirit, here’s a little more about me and my background, to help you discern whether my coaching will be right for you.
Ethno-nationally, my people are Black, Jewish, and U.S. American.
I am a light-skinned, sometimes white-passing, frequently impish person. My ancestral roots lie in West Africa & the Caribbean (as in Middle Passage); Central Europe (as in Holocaust); and most recently, the occupied United States.
Knowing a little more about my background can affect how readily you resonate with me, so I want to take the time to share.
Other identities, fixed and fluid:
Straight-sized / thin-privileged
AFAB cis-passing non-binary
Not currently disabled
Class privileged (previous generations working-class / segregated poor)
No kids; never married
Smile and wiggle a lot.
I believe that my identities matter, and also that I am more than their sum.
My dream is not to be right, pure, or universally liked.
My dream is to be my true self.
To love myself, and to love all beings.
If my identities mean that I’m not the right coach for you, no worries — I hope you find the right fit elsewhere. And I look forward to a time when this work is more widely available, with increasingly diverse practitioners, so that everyone can find a great match.
If I’m not right for you, may you find someone who is.
OTHER SEX & INTIMACY COACHES
You can visit the Somatica® website for a list of other coaches.
Search for a sex coach in your area, or use the drop-down menu to search by specialty.